To Be Without

Originally posted on Facebook, by Maggie Slighte on Wednesday, June 27, 2012 at 11:47am ·

To Be Without

It begins again....
To be without.
The most DRAMATIC time "without" in my current memory was in West Palm Beach Florida about 2 months ago.

Safe to say, I am not good at budgeting the $950 pittance I receive at the beginning of the month from Social Security. Still, there are those who criticize every monetary decision I make.

I tend to give everything I have away... and I enjoy doing so. I don't intend to stop THAT anytime soon.

Some ask why I don't apply to programs for those who need cannabis but have little cash. It is my opinion that there aren't enough of these programs to support those who need cannabis to cure their cancer. I don't have cancer. They should come first. I have a dear friend who has stage IV kidney cancer. No one gives him meds. When he isn't healthy enough to grow, or his disability income can't cover a gram of meds....he vomits for days without stopping. When everyone in his condition has meds, THEN I MAY think of myself. Probably not.

I would LOVE to go back to earning over $4k a month, if I physically could, or even THOUGHT I could, I would "go back to work" in a MOMENT!

Then a morning like this comes along, and I know why I am not "at work".
I struggle with the disability idea.
DIS-abled.
YES, there are many things I can't do. The MAIN thing I don't seem to have succeeded in, is the "dependable employee" idea.
How can I be "dependable" when I don't know if I will be vomiting in the morning from my stomach issues, or because the pain level is higher than I expect? I look forward to "working myself off of disability"... the first book is about 1/3 written.

Routinely, no matter WHERE I am, I awaken with pain in my lower abdomen, lower back and GI track. On a scale from 1-10, it tends to be around an 8.5 on an average day, about an hour after I awaken.
Then I smoke. Or I don't.  When I don't, and also have no tincture (it helps the pain even better than smoking), I end up apologizing for my words and actions.

How do I get to the point where I can control the words and actions of my pain? I look forward to that enLIGHTEnment.

Until then, I will drink my peppermint tea, and look for something I can sell for a couple bucks....and dream of a day I have a garden full of ALL herbs!!

Love and Lighte.

This Woman & Her Vote

Cannabis activism is very new to me.
I have been a patient for the past 7 years.
I have understood what cannabis really is, and have been an actively promoting it’s use, and legalization, for only the last two years.


Standing up for things I believe in, is not new to me. Throughout my adult life; I have marched in "gay pride" marches, sat on the board of directors of an alternative high school, talked to city councils about adding youth recreation alternatives, volunteered for many organizations while raising my children (three, now in their 20s), and I have done my very best to be a conscientious voter.

My grandmother was born in 1919. She and my grandfather both believed very strongly in understanding the responsibility that comes along with the right to vote. “We (women) haven’t had the RIGHT long enough to take it for granted,” she said.

In her house, it was widely known by the barbed jokes that flew across the house come autumn; that her and my grandpa “cancelled each others vote.” But to NOT vote, was NOT acceptable!

I agree with grandma. One of my proudest achievements during the past two weekends; was the fact that I personally registered 4 new voters.  (I also made certain my OWN voters registration was up to date with my address change.)

These last few weeks I have had the opportunity to educate myself further about the initiatives that are on the ballot this year.
I have also had the chance to debate one in particular, I-502.

Steve Elliott, of "The Little Black Book of Marijuana" was quoted in L.A. Times, "I never in a million years imagined myself to be on a stage advocating against the passage of a marijuana legalization law."

I ALSO would have NEVER imagined myself to be telling people to vote AGAINST a “marijuana legalization law.” Even before I understood that cannabis was a CURE, not just a palliative measure; I would never be behind a measure that would promote jailing someone for using marijuana. 

I-502 is NOT a good law. As I have been “yelling from the rooftops,” "FIVE ZERO BOOOOO!!!!"

When I read the text of the initiative, I didn't get past the first page without a flashback to a memo I have in my possession from Governor Gregoire stating that she could not conscientiously enact a law which would put state workers at risk of federal prosecution for their duties as state employees.

On April 29, 2011, she forwarded a message to her staff and the Washington State Dept of Health stating that, at that point, she was not comfortable putting her work force in the position of being left out to dry where it came to being criminally and civilly liable under federal law for actions required of their position in state government.

As a former state worker, I applaud her decision to do her research and to support medical marijuana while attempting to legalize it on a federal basis and doing her best to protect those who work for the public.

It unjustly penalizes our youngest patients. It unjustly penalizes our young adults period. Driving is a privilege, yes. One I can’t imagine denying an 18 year old cancer patient, just because she smoked a joint yesterday. I can’t even imagine telling a 20 year old crohnes patient that he couldn’t drive to work, after eating an edible the night before.  It isn’t right. It isn’t okay. If ONE person is jailed under 502, it is too many.


When the federal government re-penalizes our young people by prohibiting anyone with a "drug" conviction to receive federal financial aid for college; enacting a measure which would add to that travesty, is barbaric.

As for the FBI doing background checks of any “verified grower:” 

"The state liquor control board may submit the criminal history record information check to the Washington state patrol and to the identification division of the federal bureau of investigation in order that these agencies may search their records for prior arrests and convictions of the individual or individuals who filled out the forms. The state liquor control board shall require fingerprinting of any applicant whose criminal history record information check is submitted to the federal bureau of investigation."

Well, many people who I know that are currently growing some of the best medicine wouldn’t even THINK of  submitting their personal information to the federal government… Just sayin‘.

I believe that the best way to know what is in your food or your medicinal herbs; is to grow them yourself. It is especially important in a supplement that has the incredible wide-ranging effects, as cannabis does; on mind, body and soul.

I-502 would NOT allow “home-grows”.  That ALSO isn’t okay with me.

Do you want to create new ways to penalize cannabis users? If “no”, PLEASE join with me in voting NO on 502!!!!

This girl has read it. But I recommend EVERYONE always read EVERYTHING that they are voting on. Do your research for yourself. KNOW before you VOTE.


Full text of I-502 in PDF format:  http://sos.wa.gov/_assets/elections/initiatives/i502.pdf

A link to the Hempfest I-502 debate from Toke of the Town: Legalization Or Sham? The I-502 Debate at Seattle Hempfest

Sensible Washington's Deconstructing I-502: https://sensiblewashington.org/blog/i502/

Toke of the Town, "An Independent Review of Washington's I-502 Legalization:" http://www.tokeofthetown.com/2012/08/an_independent_review_of_washingtons_i-502_legaliz.php

Patience

Patience.


That one thing that in 45 years, I have never had. 


I have never found patience.


I am impulsive by nature and I enjoy it. 


Other people, not so much. My now ex husband hated it about me. 
I have been told by many that I need to find it. 


Where do I go to find patience?

I have gone into the woods.
I have traveled back and forth across the country. 
I have meditated deep into my soul. 
I found stillness. I found quiet. I found EnLIGHTEnment. 


No Patience.


Some say I have found patients. I know I am a healer.
I seek to be a stronger healer. 
Patients have found me. 


Still, no patience. 


Especially not with patients. 

THAT is something I feel I would like to learn:
Patience with patients. Patience with my self. 


But where, how, when, can I learn to have patience with finding patience to have patience with myself and my patients, NOW!?!?!?!

Grrrr.... patience. 

Cannabis is NOT Disruptive to the Community!

Okay, I am on a rant again. But seriously, I have had ENOUGH of the "effect on the community" of dispensaries and MMJ co-ops!

I read this phrase in an article this morning, reminding me of my outrage:

"medical marijuana facilities, which are scattered along Colorado Boulevard and Eagle Rock Boulevard, are disruptive to the community because they tend to attract drug-dealing customers and people who smoke dope openly in public."

 FIRST, the studies I have read (reading and researching is something I do DAILY when ON cannabis), actually show a marked DECREASE in crime rates around dispensaries. 

SECOND, "smoking dope" is NOT how we usually describe medicating, however, what is wrong with medicating in public? Many people drink soda pop or coffee in public which contains a VERY strong drug that has the potential to kill people.

THIRD, I have heard of MANY people who have either imbibed large amounts of alcohol or even caffeine, who are VERY "disruptive to the community," but not many "stoners." Personally, I have found most stoners to be disruptive to the "community" only insomuch as becoming more aware of their health and attempting to enact CHANGE and health for all. A desire to share their enLIGHTEnment.

FOURTH, regarding the laws and ordinances against access points in close vicinity of schools. I could go into the accessibility of alcohol or tobacco or any number of substances which are actually DEADLY (unlike cannabis) and sold at groceries next to schools on a daily basis. The point, however, is that providing access points to patients (who could be of any age) is NOT harmful to children. 

It is far past time for us to stand up and stop allowing restrictions of access points to our medication. Cannabis is about HEALING. Stop allowing it to be sucked back into the abyss of ignorance. EDUCATE and EnLIGHTEn your neighbors and friends. Stop preaching to the choir, EDUCATE your pastors, teachers and grocers!
Love and Lighte!

P.E.A.C.E.

Last year, when I met my friend Carol in southern Illinois, during our campaigning to Springfield legislators, four of us came up with an idea about an organization called "P.E.A.C.E.: Pathways to Effective Active Cannabis Education.

Pathways due to the fact that there would be very many different methods or paths that could be funded by PEACE.

One of those paths was a traveling teacher. Me. Someone to distribute learning material across the nation to people about cannabis sativa (including industrial hemp) and cannabis indica and what types of benefit they are to living organisms as well as the benefits to our earth.

The trip that I have now started, to travel across from one Washington to the other, gathering a convoy with us as we go is just the beginning. 

As we travel, we will be bringing materials for sale (by friends who are writers & have entrusted us with their materials) as well as free magazines supplied by Cannabis Health News Magazine.

Apparently the person who was entrusted with the legal tasks of creating the non profit corp of PEACE did not follow through. Therefor, there is currently no P.E.A.C.E.

I will be looking to find people who are interested in becoming a part of PEACE by becoming members of the nonprofit's board of directors. I will also be obtaining more legal advice in regards to continuing the effort to create this nonprofit.

There will be PEACE on Earth.... well, at least in my Maggic corner of it.

Overgrow Flyers Day One

In preparation of the adventure I am undertaking; I want to let everyone know how much I appreciate all of their interest in my life and my goals.

I LOVE helping people. It IS what I live for. That is WHY I support Industrial Hemp and Cannabis.

Within those goals, my next adventure (Maggic Road to Overgrow) is one where I will be traveling across this country gathering a convoy of patients & activists as I go towards the protest "Overgrow the Government" in Washington DC on April 20th.

We will be accepting donations of support along the way, as well as picking up any willing participant as we go. This will be a convoy.

For those interested supporting such an effort, I will be keeping a daily blog about our adventures, and the URL for that blog will be exclusively shared with supporters.

We will be looking for ALL types of support.

As we travel, we will be camping and seeing this beautiful nation. We will also be educating & distributing educational materials about industrial hemp and medical cannabis. I am looking for good sources of easily distributable educational materials as well.

Please help me in my quest to share LOVE and LIGHTE with the entire nation as we do our best to help the United States progress the ignorance of prohibition to the enLIGHTEnment of legal industrial hemp & cannabis. This CAN be achieved!

Love and Lighte, I am off to print flyers for Overgrow & meet new people in my old home town! Have a WONDERFUL day!!!! — in Olympia.

The Silence Before the Storm

From Feb 15 through Feb 22, I did my level best to "shut up." For once, I believe I was successful. Almost too much so. In the past year, I have stopped talking on the phone, preferring to text over talking. My Facebook posts have been nearly my sole form of communication with not only new friends, but also my close friends and family. On February 15, 2012, I stopped posting.

When I first started being quiet, I frankly didn't understand why I was doing it. It was a conscious choice, but I didn't really know why I was making it.

There was a point that I was a bit depressed, but it was almost more of a physical hibernation and allowing my body to heal. I had contracted a cold the day before my daughter's birthday. It weighed heavily in my chest, eventually causing a mild infection deep in my lungs. I felt compelled to shut not only my body, but also my brain, down and hibernate. I guess I was attempting to allow my body to heal the best it could, without allowing my conscious brain to interfere.

The fact that Valentines Day, also my son's birthday was the 14th, actually forced me to be a bit more social than I truly wanted to be, but once the loneliness of that day passed, I was done wanting to communicate. The physical circumstances I was living in were a source of humor for all around. Who chooses to stay with their EX boyfriend during mid February?

Yes, I have been staying with my best friend, who everyone knows as my ex-boyfriend. Frankly for the past 2 years, he has been the person who has listened to my every secret, CAUSED, but also comforted MANY of my tears. He isn't who I am having a relationship with, but having been the person who I allowed closest to me for almost 2 years, he understands me the best right now and the idea of having to defend my decision to stay with him exhausted me.

He is my best friend.  While I was sick, I felt I needed the security of knowing I didn't have to worry about my dog or what needed to be done, I could rest. I knew he would take care of me, by leaving me alone to take care of myself.
Yes, it would have been nice to have someone to take care of me. But that wasn't about to happen during this period of time. I needed to do it myself. But I didn't even know what I needed. I just wanted everything to stop so that I could think.

I have been uncertain. Nervous about the next few steps that I see myself taking. Overwhelmed a bit by the road ahead, yet doing my best to resist every urge to self-sabotage my goals.

So, instead of broadcasting every little ache and pain of a lonely February, being single yet being surrounded by people who loved and cared for me(coming from my background; that is a TOTAL mind fuck, by the way) while I nursed an aggravating cough and intermittent fever; I chose to completely "go quiet."

For almost 2 days, I not only abstained from communicating on my favorite medium, but I also didn't journal. This part was not a good thing. I had been making a point of journaling daily since the beginning of the year, but I suppose I just wanted to ignore the fact that those few particular days existed. I rested. I only came out of my friends' room to make tea, go to the bathroom and briefly say hi.

During those first days, I thought I may have been depressed. I decided to impose an "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" rule on myself. It resulted in several days of introspection and healing. Not that I planned it, but I am considering that decision fairly logical when I consider the journey on which I am embarking March 20th.

The "Maggic Tour to Overgrow the Government" is beyond anything I have attempted before. It requires a faith in my fellow travelers as well as a faith in those who are supporting the journey. I can not do it alone. I know it needs to be done, I know we need to make this trip and I am willing to give everything I have, financially, energetically, intellectually and spiritually towards it.

I know that we need to make this trip, but I have not acquired even a fraction of the material needs of this journey, and I needed to contemplate the enormity of the situation before I could come close to articulating it to others. I may be close. Close enough, and my body and brain have healed enough to begin to come out of my self-imposed hermitage.

To those who love and care about me, and follow me, I do apologize. It wasn't meant to hurt anyone or discount anyone's caring for me, I just needed to look inward for a change. I do love my friends and "fans"... but I needed to rediscover the Maggic. Love and Lighte.