Cannabis is the Answer to a Painful Question

The following is a research paper that I wrote for an English class at Southern New Hampshire University. I am publishing just as I turned it in, complete with references. 
However, I am editing in some photos to break it up a bit. Perhaps later I will hyperlink the references, and remove the parenthetical citations, but for now I will leave it as is.

Cannabis is the Answer to a Painful Question

There are many types of pain, but pain is the primary reason people seek care from physicians (Blesching 404). Opioid-based medications like Fentanyl (duragesic), oxycodone (Oxycontin, Percocet), morphine, Dilaudid and methadone are currently the primary treatments prescribed by physicians for severe chronic pain. Deaths from opioid pain medications are at a catastrophic level in the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada (“Opioids”). However, in areas where cannabis has been legalized for the treatment of chronic pain, those deaths have fallen by over 25% (Young). If cannabis was legalized universally for the treatment of chronic pain, fewer people would overdose while attempting to find

relief from this symptom.

In December 2015, CNN headlines screamed, “Drug overdose deaths reach all-time high,” when reporter Nadia Nounang announced opioid based drugs (including prescription medication) were responsible for 61% of those deaths. Ms. Kounang followed up three months later in the same publication with the Federal Drug Administration’s answer, “FDA requires ‘black box’ warning on painkillers” in which they finally warned consumers about addiction, physical dependence, the possibility of overdose, and death. These were similar to the warnings the FDA issued in 2013, intending to educate physician and patient alike.

The suicide rate among patients who suffer from chronic pain is double the rate in the rest of the population. Some would say chronic pain is a disease in its own right. More than 20 percent of Americans report from suffering some degree of chronic pain. It is connected with the absolute worst quality of life (MacCallum). More people die from opiate pain medication than any other medical treatment for a non-life threatening conditions.

Although opioid-based medications are the most common treatment for pain; recent studies indicate opiates are not effective for treating chronic pain. According to the the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) when it recently announced it does not recommend physicians prescribe opiates for chronic pain, one reason stated was the risks of using this drug class for this symptom outweigh the benefits. According to United States 2014 statistics, 52 people died each day from prescription pain medication ("An important shift on opioids").

Five and a half years before writing "Doctors told not to prescribe opiates for chronic pain" for USA Today, Liz Szabo published an extensive viewpoint titled, “Treatments for Chronic Pain Can Lead to Prescription Drug Abuse,” in the same publication. In the 2010 piece, Ms. Szabo delineated the extensive problem prescription pain medication has become in our society; in the follow-up this March, she reported the CDC’s eventual response: Opiates are now considered to be only a very short term treatment at as low a dose as possible. A handful of exceptions were made, particularly in end-of-life circumstances (2010; 2016).

When the CDC announced in March 2016 they no longer recommended opioid pain medication for patients with chronic pain, they did not give clear alternatives. In the past five years, when attempting to avoid the temptation of taking opioids due to addiction, even patients who identify themselves as addicts or as allergic to opiate-based medications are being pushed those same pain relievers at every emergency room or physician’s office visit (Koons; Slighte). The CDC did not indicate how physicians should treat chronic pain without prescribing their favorite medications (Szabo “Doctors”).

Cannabis has been used to relieve pain and spasticity since ancient times (Mathre 112).
When using cannabis for chronic pain, many patients report they are able to reduce, then eliminate, not only narcotic pain relievers, but also antidepressants, benzodiazepines and anticonvulsants (Floyd; Mathre 121-123; Slighte).

In the United States, the first law in relation to cannabis came into effect before the states were united. The 1619 law ordered farmers to grow “Indian hemp” in Jamestown Colony, Virginia (Ditchfield & Thomas x). In spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the United States federal government currently contends the cannabis plant is dangerous and has no medicinal value (Ditchfield & Thomas xvi).

In 1996, California and Arizona were the first two states to vote into law medical marijuana (Mathre 51). Since then, 22 other states and the District of Columbia have voted into law various cannabis products for assorted conditions. The following states list “chronic pain,” “intractable pain,” or “other debilitating conditions defined by physician” in regards to treating chronic pain with cannabis:
         Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont & Washington (Rahn).
However, cannabis remains illegal on a federal basis and this is enforced through raids carried out by federal authorities on a weekly basis on medical establishments (Wattles).

In spite of its opposition to the concept of cannabis having medicinal value, the United States government has issued several patents for the use of cannabis in medicine. At least two of these are specifically related to how cannabis helps patients who are experiencing pain (Eckroate 23).

Studies examining opioid overdose deaths in this country from 1999 to 2010 have shown in areas where medical cannabis has been legalized, significantly fewer people are dying from opiates. In fact, the longer there has been a medical cannabis law in place, the fewer deaths there appear to be. During the first year, deaths dropped about 20%, but by the sixth year of medical cannabis legality, there were more than one third less deaths from opiate-based pain medication than were anticipated (Bakalar).

Rather than being a gateway drug TO opioid addiction, cannabis appears to help patients recover from opiate addictions and treat their pain in an alternative manner. There is also evidence to suggest cannabis may help assist in general abuse recovery (Ditchfield & Thomas 49). Other studies show cannabinoids (active components of cannabis) have the ability to work together with opioids so the pain medication is more effective and the patient can reduce their tolerance to the opiate, causing the patient to require less medication for the same relief (Mathre 121-123).

There are many people who do not understand the methods employed by medical cannabis users in the treatment of disease. To much of the world, rooms full of acrid smoke and teenagers "couch locked" from popular movies are what they picture when you say the word "marijuana". "Cannabis" is a less known, but a preferred term among patients who are very serious about this botanical medicine. The current cannabis treatment preparations in tinctures, capsules and cooked into meals would not be recognizable to the marijuana user of the 1960s and 70s. Cannabis can be consumed as a topical, vaped in a e-cig, taken as a capsule or inserted as a suppository (Backes 101-105). Contrary to popular opinion, the stereotypical "lazy stoner" does not represent the modern medical marijuana patient who by and large reports he is able to "get on with his life" as it was before pain became a daily issue.

Pharmaceutical companies are not ignorant to the possibilities created by cannabis. A cannabis-based medication named “Sativex,” developed by G.W. Pharmaceuticals, has shown great promise relieving pain and spasticity in controlled studies since 2014. It has not yet been FDA approved for widespread use (Cervantes). As with any other pharmaceutical product, Sativex is priced to cover the years of research required to bring it to market, making it more expensive than most could afford--much more expensive than growing an herb in your backyard.

Opponents to medical cannabis programs often ignorantly use potential for addiction as an argument against marijuana. What they fail to understand is the slight capability for cannabis to cause dependence is much different than addiction drug-seeking behavior commonly found with opiate, tobacco and alcohol addictions (Bultman and Kingsley 98; Eckroate 135-137). The small percentage of marijuana users who do display a dependency may exhibit irritability and difficulty sleeping as well as some nausea upon quitting use (Bultman and Kingsley 97). The symptoms the patient was relying on the cannabis to treat will also return upon ceasing consumption of the herb.

There are other clinicians who are developing their own methods for managing or alleviating chronic pain. One is Pete Egoscue. He has written books about the exercises he employs to rid people of their chronic pain forever (“Pain Free”). Unfortunately, most people are lazy when it comes to their health. If there is a pill to pop, a suppository to push, a joint to smoke or a tea or tonic to drink they will do it much faster than they will ever pick up a book and read it, much less actually learn exercises and do them repeatedly enough to be effective (Whiteman).

More than 1.5 billion people suffer from chronic pain worldwide. That includes over 100 million Americans. Deaths from opioid pain medications exceed all of those from illegal drugs for ALL age groups, from 15 to over 65. The largest group dying are those from 45-54 (“Deaths”). The numbers are staggering. What is just as shocking is that NO ONE is dying from cannabis. In fact, in areas that have legalized medical marijuana, significantly fewer people are dying from opioid pain medications.

When evaluating cannabis versus opioids for chronic pain, there are two simple but profound facts must be acknowledged above all others:

1. Prescription opiates kill more people than any other type of medication (Kounang “Drug”).
2. Cannabis has never killed anyone (Carter; 'It's zero!').

The Chief of the CDC was quoted on March 16, 2016 stating, "We know of no other medication routinely used for a non-fatal condition that kills patients so frequently," when speaking about doctors prescribing opioid pain medications (Szabo “Doctors”). When researching possible deaths from cannabis, Rep. Blumenauer from Oregon stated it perfectly in November of 2014 when he said, "it's zero!" ('It's zero!').

It is not enough to take away the source of the fatalities without providing a safe and effective replacement for pain control. Cannabis is a treatment that provides relief without the fear of accidental death via overdose. If physicians want to “FIRST DO NO HARM,” they should recommend medical cannabis for chronic pain FIRST. 

Works Cited

"An important shift on opioids." Washington Post 6 May 2016. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 12 May 2016.

Bachhuber, Marcus, and Colleen Barry. "Of Pot and Percocet." New York Times 31 Aug. 2014: 12(L). Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 9 May 2016.

Backes, Michael. Cannabis Pharmacy: The Practical Guide to Medical Marijuana. New York. Black Dog & Leventhal Publishing. 2014. Print.

Bakalar, Nicholas. "Patterns: A Benefit of Legal Marijuana." New York Times 1 Sept. 2014: D4(L). Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 9 May 2016.

Blesching, Uwe, PhD. The Cannabis Health Index. Berkeley, California. North Atlantic Books. 2013. Print.

Bultman, Laura, M.D. & Kingsley, Kyle, M.D. Medical Cannabis Primer: For Healthcare Professionals. Minnesota. Minnesota Medical Solutions. 2014. Print.

Carter, Gregory T., et al. "Re-Branding Cannabis: The Next Generation of Chronic Pain Medicine?" Pain Management 5.1 (2015): 13-21.ProQuest. Web. 20 April 2016.

Cervantes, Jorge. The Cannabis Encyclopedia. China. Homestead Book Company. 2015. Print.

Corderoy, Amy. "Chronic pain sufferers gain relief from cannabis - study." Sydney Morning Herald [Sydney, Australia] 27 Jan. 2015: 10. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 30 May 2016.

"Deaths from Opioid Pain Relievers Exceed Those from All Illegal Drugs." Prescription Drug Abuse. Ed. Margaret Haerens and Lynn M. Zott. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2013. Opposing Viewpoints. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 27 Apr. 2016.

Ditchfield, Jeff and Thomas, Mel. Medical Cannabis Guidebook: The Definitive Guide to Using and Growing Medicinal Marijuana. China. Green Candy Press, Oceanic Graphic International. 2014. Print.

Eckroate, Norma. The Medical Marijuana Handbook: A Patient’s Guide to Holistic Healing With Cannabis. Bradenton, Florida, USA BookLocker. Com Inc. 2016. Print.

Egoscue, Pete. Pain Free: A Revolutionary Method for Stopping Chronic Pain. New York. Bantam. 1998. Print.

Floyd, Keith. Personal Interview. 26 May 2016.

"'It's zero!' Rep. Blumenauer on number of marijuana deaths." CNN Wire. 13 Nov. 2014. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 9 May 2016.

Koons, Anne M. Personal Interview. 29 May 2016

Kounang, Nadia. "Drug overdose deaths reach all-time high." CNN Wire. 18 Dec. 2015. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 22 May 2016.

Kounang, Nadia. "FDA requires 'black box' warning on painkillers." CNN Wire. 24 Mar. 2016. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 12 May 2016.

Armentano, Paul. Letter. "Marijuana and Opioids." New York Times 29 Apr. 2016: A20(L). Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 12 May 2016.

Mathre, Mary Lynn, ED. Cannabis in Medical Practice. Jefferson, North Carolina. McFarland and Company, Inc Publishers. 1997. Print.

MacCallum, Elizabeth. "Strict Regulation of Prescription Drugs Harms Patients Suffering from Chronic Pain." Prescription Drug Abuse. Ed. Margaret Haerens and Lynn M. Zott. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2013. Opposing Viewpoints. Rpt. from "Sufferers of Chronic Pain and the Government's War on OxyContin." Maclean's Magazine (15 Mar. 2012). Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 27 Apr. 2016.

Nohlgren, Stephen. "STUDY POSES NEW POT BENEFIT; States with medical marijuana are seeing lower than expected opiate overdoses." Tampa Bay Times [St. Petersburg, FL] 27 Aug. 2014: 1A. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 9 May 2016.

"Opioids: A national crisis needs a federal response." Globe & Mail [Toronto, Canada] 11 Apr. 2016: A11. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 27 Apr. 2016.

Rahn, Baily. Qualifying Conditions For Medical Marijuana by State. Leafly. May 3, 2016. Web. May 22, 2016. https://www.leafly.com/news/health/qualifying-conditions-for-medical-marijuana-by-state

Slighte, Jason, Sr.. Personal Interview. July 29, 2015.

Schneider, Jennifer P., M.D., Ph.D. Living With Chronic Pain: The Complete Health Guide to the Causes and Treatment of Chronic Pain. Long Island City, New York. Hatherleigh Press. 2009. Print.

Szabo, Liz. "Doctors told not to prescribe opiates for chronic pain." USA Today 16 Mar. 2016: 01A. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 27 Apr. 2016.

Szabo, Liz. "Treatments for Chronic Pain Can Lead to Prescription Drug Abuse." Prescription Drug Abuse. Ed. Margaret Haerens and Lynn M. Zott. Detroit: Greenhaven Press, 2013. Opposing Viewpoints. Rpt. from "Prescriptions Now Biggest Cause of Fatal Drug Overdoses." USA Today 10 Aug. 2010. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 27 Apr. 2016.

Wattles, Jackie. "Medical marijuana now legal in 24 states." CNN Wire 17 Apr. 2016. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 30 May 2016.

Whiteman, Honor. “Have We Become Too Dependent on Medication?” Medical News Today. January 29, 2015. Web. 20 April 2016.

Young, Saundra. "Medical marijuana laws may reduce painkiller overdoses." CNN Wire 25 Aug. 2014. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. 28 Apr. 2016.

Cannabis Caregiving

Being a Cannabis Caregiver can mean many different things.

Some caregivers are growers, who carefully select and breed and cultivate personalized strains for their patients.

Other caregivers research and develop recipes for medications that are not only effective, but taste palatable or perhaps even with a gourmet flair.

There are also cannabis caregivers work in dispensaries or "collective gardens" in positions we refer to as "bud tenders" but perhaps are better described as pharmacists or better yet, farm-assists.

Being a responsible caretaker of a cannabis patient, no matter the role, involves research, and very active patient communication.

Cannabis Caregiving with Hillbilly Rick

Many people have acted as my cannabis caregivers.

When my own edible education began, my friend Rick introduced me to "cannabutter" and showed me the process to extract cannabiniods into fat. He also helped me learn about dosages and strains that were helpful for my health conditions and how to grow.
My lessons included cloning as well as law enforcement officers tours of a legal garden.
The entire experience was quite eye-opening.  This was in 2010.

In the years between 2010 and 2013, I had travelled the country learning what I could from patients and caregivers living in the trenches of psuedo-cannabis medical "legality" and some just illegally healing. I had acquired knowledge about topicals and tinctures, about making cannacaps and eating more than just

cannabutter.

I also have a medical background. In my early twenties I worked as a back-office nurse before my disabilities necessitated me retraining outside of the medical field.

In 2013, I had the opportunity to re-visit cannabis caretaking with Hillbilly Rick. Only this time, the tables were turned. My friend was being quite honest when he confided in me that he knew I would be offended if he had asked anyone else to care for him after major intestinal surgery. I probably would have been.

Rick, as with all other patients whom I have provided care for, was recommended cannabis by his doctor.  The cannabis preparations that I prepared for him were purchased at his local collective garden. He also received a small donation from his collective garden during his after-care.

I prepared with topicals and tinctures, capsules full of a sticky blackish green goo

known as "RSO" for the man (Rick Simpson) who came up with the widest known method of extracting the concentrated cannabis oil. Also known as Full Extract Cannabis Oil (FECO) or Hash Oil; it is a substance highly concentrated in cannibinoids, and fairly easy to dose in capsules or a rice-grain portion eaten on top of a slice of banana or cracker.

Rick's recovery from surgery was fairly uneventful, once he left the opioid pain relievers in the hospital. Out of the hospital only a couple of days, I accompanied him and his granddaughter to church.
Two years later, Rick is the healthiest I have ever seen him. Oh, did I mention, he has stage IV kidney cancer; a diagnosis he has lived with for over 20 years now. (To read more about Rick and my friendship, please read: My Best Friend).

My Farm-Assist

Tables were turned once again, less than a year later, when my newlywed husband became my cannabis caregiver.

He already had partially assumed that role, when we began gardening together. You see, I married Floyd's Farm-Assist.
As much as I thought knew, he had more to teach me about gardening and the cannabis plant in general. Keith had been around cannabis for most of his life. When he took on the moniker "Floyd's Farm-Assist" it was because he had been helping others farm their cannabis for decades. He had also been researching the most effective strains for his own health conditions

On May 24th, I fell ten feet, backwards, suffering a compression fracture to my

T-11. I broke my back.
After the doctors assessed that I was correct in not wanting any opioids to treat the incredibly intense back pain I was having, and I learned how to walk again in the four excruciating days in the hospital; I was discharged into Keith's care.

The day after I came home, another caregiver delivered donated infused coconut oil and tincture. Keith carefully filled capsules full of coconut oil, and I took tincture by the tablespoon, and my pain was finally under control.

While being both a patient and a caregiver, I have learned many different aspects of using cannabis as a medication.  I found that using infused coconut oil worked better than using butter. Then came the addition of lecithin to the recipe, enhancing the absorbability of the cannaibiniods in the human cannaibinoid receptors.

My back healed faster than my physicians thought possible.
Compression fractures, due to their nature, don't heal completely. However, except for a need to understand my limits at times, I find that a year and 3 months after my fall, my health is very close to what it was before the fall.

A Post-Surgical Cannabis Caregiving Summer

This summer provided me two more opportunities to revisit post-surgical

caannabis caregiving.
My husband Keith, had arthroscopic knee surgery on his meniscus and a cartilage band. Then my brother was inspired by Keith and desired to go through back surgery (a laminectomy) without any opioids.

Keith's surgery was a fairly minor procedure. It was preformed in a out-patient surgery center. Afterwords he was sent home. Keith used many different cannabis preparations.

Knowing his sweet-tooth, and his disdain for pills (he had survived multiple pharmacological dependencies after several back surgeries, including one that left his leg paralyzed), I made him a variety of different high-protein but sweet granola bars.

They proved to be a bit too sweet, as well as a bit too highly medicated for his needs, so I soon cut them into multiple servings and dusted them with unsweetened cocoa, tempering the sweetness a bit.

Keith used a combination of full plant concentrate, inhaled and vaporized cured flowers & concentrates, tinctures and "RSO" as a topical on the incisions themselves. He also ate fresh and dried whole plant, including hemp seeds.

Keith's Medicine & Recovery

Keith's recovery was extremely fast. Within two weeks he was feeling better than before the surgery. He had full range of motion plus some and was released for full physical therapy with a brace that prevented him from hyper-extending his weaker knee until the leg strengthened.

In August came my biggest challenge thus far as a cannabis caregiver. My only sibling, my baby brother, was inspired by Keith's rapid surgical recovery and was impressed by the effect that cannabis had on his own pain; so he decided to go through his laminectomy without any opioid pain medication.

To avoid using opioids during the surgery, his physician used Ketamine. This caused him neuropathic hypersensitivity as well as memory loss after surgery.
I was at his bedside as soon as he was offered pain medication. Having made his choices clear pre-surgery, he became angered and frustrated when the nurses pushed him to change his mind about opioid medication. After some miscommunications were cleared up, Jason proceeded with his intended cannabis treatment.

It is against all hospital policies to bring in medication with which they are unfamiliar. From a medical standpoint, I understand this.
Jason made the decision the day after surgery, to transfer his care from the hospital to my personal care near the hospital. We spent several days in the shadow of the hospital, their resources available if he needed them, as he recovered from his back surgery.

Jason's treatment included topical RSO on the incision, high-cbd cream in the surrounding tissues, capsules of RSO, infused coconut oil and lecithin, as well as vaporizing cannabis concentrates. Jason also had the opportunity to try a new transdermal patch that was offered at our collective garden (however, he did not find that the patch met his medication needs.)

At his two-week post-surgical check-up, Jason's physician was extremely happy with his recovery and the look of the incision site. Although he was anxious to exercise more than just walk (for the second week of recovery, he had worked his way up to walking over a mile every day), she cautioned him to restrain himself from over-doing.

Feeling accomplished, I released him from my care. In spite of the title, I didn't and don't currently have a garden. My supplies are purchased or donated. I had run out of medication even for myself, I had none to give. Jason's medication was purchased with the limited resources that he had, and those resources had been exhausted.

Three days later, I heard my baby brother describe pain as a "new definition of a level '10'" ... only a week after we had him down to a "1 or 2".

This is the only reason I never wanted him to depend on cannabis.

His insurance would have paid for multiple medications to control the pain. His insurance company doesn't care that those prescription drugs are addicting and harmful to his surgical recovery and his recovery status.

Jason remains resolved not to use opioids.  In spite of medication shortages due to low financial resources, he is continuing to heal and amaze his physicians and his family. He remains in recovery.

Zuki Saved My Life

With cheesecake brownies
She saved me from violence
when a flat tire in the sun
Wasn't very fun.

Hip Happy Brownies
helped us see blessings
Instead of grumble
at the work to be done.

As we traveled
on a rickety spare;
A major wrong turn
Normally would have
caused me to pull out my hair....
Instead, due to a friend
We smiled and explored
Learning about the land
God brought us to  once more.

Angel, not Ange,
is how I see-
This person who's given
my life back to me!

With gummies and yummies
She rescued me from thirst;
Soothing butter and honey
Saved me from my worst.

The headaches of altitude sickness
and drought
Lead me to worry, frightened
...in doubt.
Through candies and cookies
in flavors galore--
She saved me from illness,
my spirits did soar!

Thank you my Sister,
I can't say enough.
Please believe me,
It got mighty rough!
The clouds of my mind,
my body broken in half;
To say you saved my life,
Isn't to laugh.

Then there's the life
of my husband and mate,
Without your candy,
I may doubt our fate!

Thank you again,
for being a sister and friend;
We thank you so much,
Gratitude without end.


(written 7 Oct 2014)

Cannabis and Me: My Testimony of a Plant Christ Created

Before I go any further with my tales of volunteering at a collective garden, I thought I would write a bit of a testimonial. 

Even if readers know why I use this plant medically, sometimes even I need a refresher. When I am out of my medicine, these reasons become crystal clear.

Physicians & Pharmacists: Diagnosis & Treatment

The first diagnosis that is listed on my medical records pertaining to the use of cannabis is intractable pain caused by damaged nerves during my last pelvic reconstructive surgery (the initial injuries happened when I was an infant then complicated with motherhood & several unsuccessful surgeries).

From 2002-2009, I was prescribed Fenantyl via a Duragesic patch. Fenatnyl is an opioid pain medication that is about 75-100% stronger than morphine.
My physicians repeatedly informed me that due to my pain levels, I would never be able to live off of a morphine-strength pain medication. I am allergic to morphine. Fentanyl with vicodin and percocet was how I survived for 7 years.

During my time on opioid pain medications, I soon learned that any exertion brought nausea, as well as irritation of the initial pain. The side effects of opioids caused me to loose my teeth, and my life. I spent most of my days in a dark bedroom watching DVDs, curled up in a fetal position.

In 2008, when my daughter graduated from high school, I was barely functioning on 19 pills a day. All prescribed by the same physician. Most were for side-effects of other medications.  During the time I was on these medications I developed other physical issues. Some where profound, like the hiatal hernia I developed during a violent vomiting episode. This has left me with chronic nausea.

The other diagnosis that I use medical cannabis for also stems from the abuse I sustained as a small child by my father, then step-father.  PTSD and depression with anxiety are some of the major reasons that cannabis is my medication of choice.

I have a family history that is frightening for depression. My father and grandfather both committed suicide. My aunt and I both have had several unsuccessful attempts at the same action. Major Depressive Disorder is so much more than "the blues."

An ironic experience I have had is one of friends getting tired of my acting out during a major depressive episode and tell me to "go take a Prozac." The reason I find this ironic is that during the time I was being treated by physicians for my depression through pharmaceuticals (1982-2009), I exhausted every formulary; up to, and including ALL SSRIs (of which class Prozac is in). The only medication for depression that I have not been suicidal on, is Cannabis.

For my anxiety issues, I have been prescribed at least five different medications. Some two at a time. Couch-lock has nothing on the zombifying experience of prescription anxiety medications. At least I didn't drool much. But I was not "with-it" enough on them to live.

When a friend suggested that instead of using vicodin or percocet for my "break-through pain" that I use cannabis (or as she so eloquently put it "smoke a bowl!"), I was leery. When I suspected that it would just get me intoxicated and waste more of my life, she pointed out that my life currently consisted of being in bed 24/7, how much more could I loose? I acquiesced and tried it.

During the years I used cannabis as a supplement to my prescription medications, I began to live again.
I found that if I smoked about 2-3 hits off of a pipe or joint, I had the energy to push past the pain. Then the pain began getting less. 

The End of Prescriptions - An Alternative Presented

When I was discharged without notice from the physician prescribing the pain medications in August 2009, it was cannabis that relieved some of the symptoms of withdrawal from the Fentanyl and Percocet. It was the only reason I was able to get through the hell of withdrawals without becoming suicidal.

Months after I was off of all prescription medications, still exhibiting several symptoms of withdrawals as well as my primary issues of anxiety and depression as well as nausea and anorexia; I tried my first edible cannabis products. I was absolutely amazed at the results.

The more cannabis products that I consumed, the better I felt. I began to feel HEALTHY!
I began to be able to do so much more. I began to regain my life.

Last year, cannabis ended up leading me to become a Latter-Day Saint. I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints when God answered my prayers with this plant. But that's another story for another time (feel free to follow my spiritual journey at SlightelyMormon.org).

In the fall of 2013, at a sister-friend's urging; I tried an experiment. I began taking a full-plant extract oil (FEO) on a daily basis. There are many names for this type of oil and many ways to process it. Some of the most common names are Rick Simpson Oil (RSO) or Phoenix Tears. My husband calls his version, without the decarboxylation step (I will post about his oil soon), "Jesus Oil."
No matter the name it goes by, it is an extract of the oils of the cannabis plant. I prefer the "full-plant" with the cannabinoids that are only found in the leaves and other non-bud parts of the plant included.

Here is a link to the best explanation I have found for the processing of small batches of this type of oil, by a dear friend, Breezy Keifair: How to Make Cannabis Oil Without Alerting the Neighbors.

As the rice-grain sized bit of oil began to be absorbed into my system, I didn't become intoxicated nor did I feel any euphoria. In fact, as the days progressed to weeks into this experiment of daily oil, I found I was feeling less euphoria from cannabis, but more happiness over-all. My body began to feel "able". My mind was clear. I could think, and I had energy. I didn't hurt and my legs worked. My brain looked towards the Gospel and furthering my fores into genealogy. I could think and feel clearly.

Thirty days into using cannabis oil daily, I felt like a new woman.

As I have experimented with the use of cannabis for my health, it has been with the guidance of my health care providers and my "cannafamily" - an intentional family of friends.

As I have learned about the cannabis plant, I have attempted to share this knowledge with others.

For seven years, prescription medications took my life away from me. Several years ago, while I was in a puddle of vomit and tears, I prayed to my Heavenly Father to save me. It is He who held the branch of the cannabis plant to me. It is He that saved me, through a plant.

Rest Area Chapter 1: Trip to Denver

I can't begin the story of the Rest Area without first telling the story of what lead up to it... and that began over a month previous to my leaving  Denver on a cold windy October Friday night. 

It was coming upon fall once again. I found myself in the Thurston County/ Olympia area after a quick trip to Denver and back with my best friend in August. In September came the news that I had lost the remainder of my possessions, including about 20 or so of my personal journals, all of my children's baby pictures, as well as parts of the book that I had written long hand during the previous spring and winter. 

It was all gone. But as much as I cried, the moisture of my tears couldn't ease the burning in my heart. I trusted that the man I was in love with would some how fix it all, but he didn't. 
Not only had he not fixed the legal matters we were involved in together, he broke my heart on my way out the door, saying that he knew that I never had the potential to be his soul mate. 

If he had spent the entire year and a half of our on-again-off-again relationship attempting to find something that could hurt me more than anything else, he couldn't have found a statement that would hurt me more.

I left town determined not to answer any of his text messages or calls. I made it four days. He pleaded with me to remain his friend. I am still ambivalent about that idea.

When I left town, I headed east. In the quiet of the early morning, I wound my way through the roads around the Cascade mountains and watched a beautiful sunrise with my puppy, Athena. 
I attempted to take in the beauty of the northwest that I was leaving, not sure when I would really return except to visit my adult children and their children.

I stopped at a friend's house in Idaho, but it wasn't much of a visit. Fortunately, she and I had visited a couple of times before this quick stop-over. I left for Colorado early the next day. 
When I drove through Utah I forgot about I-70 and the fact that their are no services aka no bathrooms for about 150 miles. Someone should warn disabled people not to travel that way from Utah to Colorado. 
For me, being someone with a very sensitive bladder (several surgeries), it caused me to get a speeding ticket on my first trip through in June, and a LOT of pain on this, my second trip.

By the time I got to my friend's home in Grand Junction, I was ready for a rest. I received a wonderful burst of energy via their wonderful princesses aka daughters.

I spent a couple of days with my family of friends in Grand Junction. They even drove us all up to Grand Mesa, where we took pictures of all the gorgeous autumn colors throughout the mesas. It was a day I will always treasure! 

Beautiful. Just gorgeous. Before this trip I had never realized that the desert changed colors with the seasons as much as a forest does. I had just never thought about it. 

My friends in Grand Junction said good-bye to me with hesitation, but they were aware that a friend in Denver had begged me to spend my birthday with her. I was on my way to do just that.

When I had put out on Facebook that I didn't know where I should spend my 45th birthday doing what, my friend Kim, in Denver who I had visited early in the summer, had posted "I don't have much, but I will share everything I have, come spend your birthday with me". So, I had planned out the trip to end up in Denver on October 19th, my 45th birthday. 

My second birthday as a single, homeless woman. A transient.

But I had friends. A friend had, in fact, invited me to spend time with her on my birthday. 

My birthday came and went, as any other day. The differences included that I went to sleep hungry, not wanting to venture out in the cold Denver night to my car, to the emergency food I had stored in it. I had already been admonished for drinking their milk, I wouldn't want to take any other food out of my friends' 15 year old child's mouth.

One other difference was the fact that the friend in question shared a blunt with me. But, in retrospect, she did charge me for that as well. 

My birthday was on a Wednesday, I was looking to leave around Friday for points southeast, but my friend kept insisting that I stay longer. When snow pummeled Denver on the next Wednesday, I again voiced my intentions to leave Thursday or Friday. Another friend of mine who I contacted, not wanting to leave the area without making such contact, informed me of a rally for a MMJ patient  in Colorado Springs. This seemed like a much better use of my time, than sitting on my bed in the middle of my friend's living room, so I agreed to meet in the morning to join the energies. 

Thursday, I was gone for most of the day with my other friends in support of medical cannabis patient, Bob Crouse, in Colorado Springs. His rights to use cannabis as medication were to be on trial. Once again, as I usually do during these gatherings of patients, friends, advocates and activists, I became re-energized. I remembered my goals.

We also touched base with the "Occupy Colorado Springs" movement while we were south of Denver. When I returned to my friends' house in Denver, I was not in the glum spirit that I had been feeling. I was back to wanting to change the world. 

That night  I slept a fitful sleep.  In the morning, I was to discover the reason. When I mentioned that I was still looking at leaving in the next few days, my friend stated to me that she wanted me to stay until I got my disability payment for the next month. She wanted me to pay for being there.

I was astonished, but not surprised. During my time there, I had come to understand that this friend of mine was still VERY embroiled in a self-destructive paradigm, being a chain smoker with pulmonary hypertension and a hole in her heart. She was also still wrapped in the cold comfort of pharmaceuticals: morphine, percocet and anti-anxiety medications while adding cannabis concentrates.  

Living out of her bed, she was a shadow of many of my memories. I wish her nothing but hope and health and love and lighte. 

I could not continue to exist there. My energy was overwhelmingly stifled. 
When she left that day to spend time with her family, I commenced  washing myself and my dog, then her bathtub, and packing up my bags and car.

I left a blank check with her teenage son, who had shared tears with me as I prepared to leave. I asked him to please remind her that I only have $850 each month to live on, but for her to please make the check for whatever she felt I owed her. 

With that, I took my puppy (who had her own issues saying goodbye to 5 other dogs), got in my car, and headed out to say goodbye to another friend before heading north. 

Father's Day

Wow, I had no idea what I was going to write about until I wrote the title to name the document.

Fathers day.

Father's Day 2009: Broke my heart, began my awakening, changed my life forever.

I need to respect the victim. So, I will not delve in to particulars. Those who were involved know who they are. The victim does not need to be victimized any further.

It took me 3 months to get myself off of the medications that my doctors had me on that had kidnapped my mobility and my mind. 

Fentanyl 100mg, brand name Duragesic, was the primary prescription. Then there were the additional meds just for the side effects of a narcotic that was 100 times stronger than morphine. Anti-depressants, anti-nauseants, anti-constipation meds....etc.

I went off of the fenantyl cold turkey; nearly dying, due to the fact that my husband repeatedly told me that he couldn't handle his own medications long enough for me to go to rehab and do it right. When I repeated what he said to the doctors in the ER, I was viewed as a junkie making excuses.

During the 3 weeks that it took for the primary withdrawals (symptoms and pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy), I was in the ER 3 times. 2 times by ambulance. 

It was a facebook friend who called 911. My husband, in the other room, didn't care enough to check on me to make sure that I was alright I am not certain what was in his mind at the time, but he didn't appear interested in my well being, or what withdrawal from a medication as strong as fentanyl can be. It can very often be fatal.

I had been first prescribed Duragesic on the Fall of 2002. I had lost my job only a month before I lost my "abilities". Isn't that what "dis-abled" means? My physician informed me that during the walk that I had taken with my family at the end of August (on fairly level ground, no more than a mile or so), was enough "gravity" to pull my bladder down once again. That was supposed to explain my pain. Truth be told, the initial injuries to that part of my body were made my my father when I was only an infant.

 In the months that followed, I had another bladder surgery, but that surgery left the two major nerves that pass over my pubic bone chronically inflamed. I was in agony.

The next five years were spent MAINLY in bed, on Fentanyl (it was at 100 mcg for over 20 months, only keeping withdrawals at bay.  That medication's effectiveness against pain always diminished within 3 months of a dosage change) and Percocet.

Then I started smoking marijuana for breakthrough pain.

My husband at the time did not approve. I smoked in "our" room. My bed, which in fact, WAS my home, was where I was "allowed" to smoke. If I did it when we were out, I had to take a walk around a building and hide. Even after I became "legal" with my medical card.

After I recovered from withdrawals (this took a few months), we began moving into a larger trailer, a double wide that we had decided to purchase from our neighbors.  Neither my husband or I were in physical condition to move, even across the street, but I treasured the long nights I chose to spend painting the walls of the new house with the music loud, only to feel like I was truly alone. It was a good feeling. This scared me.

After my husband and I moved into the new house, I was still unable to find my "place" in the house, other than in my bed. I didn't want to be in bed any longer, and the more I used marijuana for my pain and depression, the better I felt. I was no longer on any other prescriptions. I physically felt better than I had in years. However, every time my husband would lay down next to me, I prayed every night that I wouldn't wake up the next morning.

After I met my best friend in early March 2010, I found that wanted to wake up the next morning. When I discovered that feeling, it shocked me. Had I REALLY given up on life for that many months?! 

I remember walking away, leaving my husband, the day after Father's Day 2009. He txt'd me that he was having chest pains, so I returned. I never returned emotionally. On March 20, 2010, I finally left physically. It was the first day of the rest of my life.

I have never looked back since. Not to that man, that life, or that house. I left everything behind. He did what any hurt man would do - he attempted to hurt me with my "stuff," so I chose to let ALL my stuff go. That has been very difficult. 


My challenges I have made public, I know no other way to be. I seek to share my trials in the hopes that others will know they are not alone. Alone is a very sad feeling. Love and Light to all.

Today IS the First Day of the Rest of my Life

Today IS the first day of my life. My NEW life. 

I began by yesterday starting to treat my body with MMS. It promises to clean out the toxins and infections in my body. I can feel it working it's magic... laugh... now with Gramma Maggic, I keep wanting to spell magic with 2 "g"s.... I digress.... 

ANYway..... I have been told that I write the way that I talk; so for now, that's how my blogs are written.

I decided today that most of my "in depth" observations on life will be made here, rather than Facebook. If people WANT to read it, they will know where to go. 

That being said; I am also going to delete my GmaMaggic account tomorrow. Anyone who wants to stay friends can friend Maggie... ME. 

With that announcement, I was shocked to feel the OUTPOURING of support for me! Nice. Felt wonderful!!!

The MMS is doing its job: the runs are weird... they don't burn like I am used to... I am SO looking forward to getting ALL of the crud out of my body. I even felt like fasting... weird because I don't give up food for NO ONE or NOTHING! Laugh... okay... maybe I do...

I decided before I got here that I would not use cannabis while I was here. Strangely enough, I am out. Good timing (yes that part was planned... lol). 

I didn't decide on the fasting until the nausea got the best of me.... laugh... but it's all part of the process.... 

I want to start anew. I want to be cleansed, revitalized... that is what this treatment is doing for the inside of my body. I am looking forward to Kalina working on the outside, so perhaps some of the pain can be controlled once and for all. 

I am looking forward to SO MANY THINGS in the next few months:  Cleansing, refreshing, manatees, the race... and my kids' birthdays, my divorce being final... Georgia... THEN DC on April 20. 

After April 20, I will head out on the road on 2 wheels. From that... who knows. 

I will allow my Creator and our Universe to guide me on my path