One year. 365 days. I have traveled a great deal in a year. I have meet many wonderful people. I haven't yet met all of those who have invited me to meet them. I haven't met nearly as many people as I desire to. But why? What is pushing me towards all of these beings? These beacons. My lighthouses.
I kept finding lighthouses in the people's homes who I was visiting. There were even a few cases in which the friend who I was visiting had previously forgotten about the lighthouse printed on something, and denied their being one in the house.
The first stranger-friend (met within the game of "Pot Farm" on Facebook) who I visited had decorated her house with ceramic lighthouses of all sizes and types. They were beautiful. They reminded me of my grandma (who passed 18 years ago), and visiting the coast of Washington with her when I was a child. Wonderful memories.
My lighthouses followed me across the country, from Oregon to Wisconsin, to DC to Florida; they came to represent the beacons of light my friends are for me. Let your little light shine. More happy memories.
The not so happy memories of the last year: Loosing every bit of anything I had saved in my 45 years on this earth, including my journals and my kids' baby pictures; having my heart broken by my best friend; becoming truely homeless having absolutely nothing to my name besides a few suitcases of clothing and toiletries. Finalizing a divorce from my husband of 22 years, something I previously had never imagined I would ever do.
I don't consider living out of my car the times it was necessary as anything but what it has been: I have had fun camping with people and with my puppy. I have lived in a way that I was comfortable at the time.
My puppy. The first dog I have owned in my adult life. Athena Brooke was born on April 1, 2011, to a dog owned by a family of friends of mine while I was staying with them. She was one of a litter of five females and one male, who's mother Brandy, is a chocolate lab, and her father Rugar, is a blue pit bull. She looks like a black lab.... Silly dogs.
I have been in her life since the day she was born. She will be with me until one of us passes. I never thought I could have this much affection for an animal. It's pretty cool. I look forward to training her to work as a companion and certified service animal for me. She is already learning to know when I am not feeling well, and seeks to assist. Now it's a matter of teaching her what to do. I am looking forward to continuing to watch her grow and learn.
In the past year, I have seen places exhibiting beauty I have previously never even imagined. The sunny winter beaches of Florida, the desolate beauty of the Rocky Mountains, the powerful and immense waterfalls of Idaho and a sunset in in Arizona that took my breath away. From the never ending California highways to the gorgeous and deceptively solitary-appearing Olympic Forest in the back yard of the area I have lived for almost my entire life.
I long to see so much more. To continue to experience the beauty of this earth guided by the people who have invited me to their corner of this planet. Show me what you love about where you live. Please continue to share with me the beauty of you and the people around you.
My love and light goes out to the people who have, and continue to, share their love and light with me on-line. I haven't been the easiest of people to be friends with sometimes, I have many issues that I am continuing to learn from. I have been challenged with many lessons this past year from which I continue to learn and grow with the love and support from so many friends who have reached out to me on FaceBook. Thank you.
For the romantic interests... I have attempted not to tease. This has been a year of on again off again romance with my best friend. Unfortunately, when I have been attempting to free myself of a love for someone who does not return that same affection, I fear I may have trampled on a few hearts. For this I sincerely apologize. This was truly never my intention.
If I chose to spend time with you online or on the phone, I was there, at that moment, entirely. Unfortunately, a spark of hope kept reigniting every time I saw my best friend, thinking he may have fallen for me. It takes a long time to get over the person who opens the proverbial cage door.
I have, and will continue to follow my heart. I have yet to know where it will end up leading me. Please, be patient with me in this regard. I have a bit of healing to do after 22 years of marriage.
My never-ending love and light continues to shine on those who have shared with me so incredibly much: from a moment in a train station where a story was shared, to a couple of weeks in a spare room. All of my friends are very dear to me, their gifts to me I will treasure forever.
Thank you all; my lighthouses of hope for this world (well, at least for my little corner of it).
Now I am heading out for another trip: to celebrate my 45th birthday. Happy Birthday to me. Look out world, here I come!
